Not Yo' Mama's Bran Muffins

Bran muffins. Blech.

You know the ones. They're always the last lonely flavor in the bottom of the basket. Nobody wants to try one for whatever reason, but it's 11:45, you forgot your lunch, and it will just have to do. Feeling fortunate to have anything to eat, you choke one down and promptly decide to survive the rest of the day on hot chocolate packets mixed with coffee. Five hours later, you're still buzzing only to come crashing down into a total grumpfest once you get home.

Your poor housemates don't deserve that kind of treatment.

But these bran muffins? THESE bran muffins are fabu. Trust me. They have enough sugar and buttermilk to render them completely the opposite of whatever you're hoping for when you hear the word "bran." BUT they're still classified as bran (hey, it's in the name), so technically you're being very responsible and healthy when eating them.

Well, that's my excuse.

Oh, and the best part? Put the batter in tupperware, and it'll keep for 6 weeks. SIX WEEKS. Which is a good thing, as it makes a heckuva lot of "bran" muffins. Imagine. Getting up. Turn the oven to 400 degrees. Pour up the batter in a pan and pop them in the oven. Take a quick shower. BAM. Insta-healthy-breakfast.

Don't forget the butter.

6 Weeks Bran Muffins

6 cups All Bran (small box)

2 cups boiling water

1 cup shortening

2 1/2 cups sugar (more or less)

4 eggs, beaten

1 quart buttermilk

5 cups flour

5 teaspoons soda

2 teaspoons salt

• Pour 2 cups All Bran in large bowl.
• Pour boiling water over it and let stand while assembling other ingredients.
• Melt shortening.
• Mix rest of All Bran and sugar, eggs, and buttermilk.
• Sift flour, salt, and soda together.
• Combine everything in the first large bowl and mix well.
• Cover tightly and store in refrigerator overnight.
• Lightly grease a muffin pan. NOTE: Do not use muffin papers with this recipe! The muffin will stick like glue to the paper and make you cuss. Just a light spray or buttering should spring them right out.
• Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes.
• Batter will keep for up to 6 week in the refrigerator.

Thanks to my friend Dot Hawthorne for keeping the current muffin mania alive.

Photo courtesy of Zinke.