Stephenie Meyer Overload

This weekend Mike and I went along with some friends who will remain nameless (to protect the not-so-innocent) for dinner and a movie. Dairy Queen is one of my favorite cravings lately, and they were game for an old-school date at the DQ, so we met there for supper. I'm still dreaming about those onion rings. Yum! But as much fun and as camp as our supper was, the company was even better. We soon realized that with all the talent at that table, we could easily take over and rule the world.

As the two of us girls had read the Twilight series, we decided to go watch Eclipse, while the boys headed to the theater next door to watch Predators. As much fun as it was to giggle and heckle at the vampires and werewolves, I'm beginning to think the boys might have had the better end of the deal.

Reading Stephenie Meyer's novels has been a guilty pleasure for me: I'm actually somewhat ashamed to admit that I've done so. The sophomoric behavior - meaningful glances, burning touches, reading way too much into any given situation - is tiring for me, and there's no way I can sober up and take it seriously. But somehow it's like a train wreck: I just can't seem to stop watching. Though the Eclipse movie was much better than either of the other two movies, it was far worse than anything I've watched in a long time.

And the audience didn't seem to feel the same way as we did. There were times when my friend and I laughed out loud while everybody else was ooh-ing and aah-ing. Like when Bella and Edward were talking about having sex. Edward said, "But Bella, it could KILL you! I could split you in half." Really? REALLY?!? HAHAHAHAHA!!! I mean, I think some guy tried that line on me in college. Of course I never took him up on it: I couldn't look him in the eye without drowning in a fit of giggles.

Oh wait. We weren't supposed to laugh at that line?

There was also what was supposed to be a super-intense scene between Jacob and Edward in a tent on a mountainside, hence the photo at the top. It looks like the silhouettes are kissing, and that's kind of what my friend and I expected Edward and Jacob to do, not Edward and Bella. The guys were probably going for serious and deep, but it just looked to us like they were about to make out with each other.

The fact that the makeup artist used the same eye shadow on both Bella and Edward didn't help matters.

But despite my complaints, it was a pretty good flick. The crowd was almost as entertaining: everybody stood up and cheered afterward, and there was actually a group of about 6 girls taking each others' picture with the credits. Like they were tourists. Standing with Robert Pattinson.

Yeah, that was a little creepy.

Meanwhile, and completely by coincidence, I just finished reading The Host by the same author. I did not like this book: it gave me nightmares. Not from the story line so much as the monotony and predictability of plot and characters. It even had the same odd and seemingly impossible love triangle between an all-too altruistic girl and the two men who love her.

I have enough cookbooks. Don't give me one in literary form.

The story itself could easily have been condensed into 200-300 pages, but with all of Stephenie's beloved details and Steinbeckian plot twists, it easily topped 600. As a good friend of mine said, it became a lot better about 3/4 of the way in, but gosh, isn't that a lot of time and effort to devote to plot development?

Surprisingly enough however, just like in the Twilight Series, the ending was good enough to justify the means of suffering through every punch and abuse thrown at our beloved heroine and heroes.

So I'm glad to have experienced Meyer Mania, but I think I'm set until the final movie or movies come out. For now I'll stick to something a little more light and fluffy.

Have any suggestions?

Photos courtesy of Bowen Summer Garden and Lyricis.